Saturday, July 2, 2011


Week four of Odyssey is over. I've been here four weeks. It feels surreal. There are times when I stop and wonder what the hell I'm doing here. How did this happen? How did I end up here? And why?

The last question is one I can answer, without having to dig deep. I am here because I have to write. There are worlds in my head that need to get out, and if I didn't commit them to paper/harddrive/whatever I think I would go insane. There are things that need to come out.

All the things that have happened to you, to me, good or bad, can be used to channel emotion into writing, and in doing so, I am convinced that we come closer and closer to coming to terms with whatever heavy shit we have sloshing around inside.

I am still far too close to the things that went on over the past year to write about them, but I'm still carrying other things around that need to be purged. If there's one thing therapy has taught me it's that we, and particularly I, bottle up things far longer than what is healthy.

So. I started on a piece today called November. I have no idea if I'll be able to finish it, or if I will have the courage to show it to the class if I do.

If I do finish it, I'll be dedicating it to Henrik (R.I.P. Vaffanculo!) and Misha (all my love, my bearded friend). If I don't, at least I'll have tried.

when i see me in your eyes
i just want to go blind
when i build coffin worlds with words
i just want a place to hide
when old ghosts meet new regrets
my daylight fades to grey
when our days bring guilt and shame
my heart turns black
these are my tombs
painted black and blue
these are my tombs
just for you
goodnight dear
black rose
be my light
in the darkness of nights
be my heart

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